THE 5267 MILE XMA
Rare AMC World Clubs Platinum Class AMX built backwards on the Kenosha Assembly Line! How is that "lifetime membership" working out for you?

Wow! A 5267 Mile AMX Built By Kenosha Assembly Line Workers who liked to swing airguns around loosely! I was there being 9 years old supervising them you know. But it was ORIGINAL! In late March 2007,  I had my 5267 Mile AMX amazingly enough for sale  and do not know what the odds are of that! These cars must have been one behind the other in the Kenosha Assembly Line, except they were a 68 and 69. Maybe, maybe not.
This was my auction below...with photos.....the bidding was fast and furious as people emptied their ashtrays in their Rambler for tool booth change, sold aluminum cans and bottles to bid. The auction was eventually shut down by ebay after 5 days and 30+ something questions. My auction ended next day at $350.00 for the fine vehicle you see down below; but auction ended a day early as ebay said I violated 2 or 3 rules. I don't remember putting a Virgin Mary Grilled cheese sandwich in the car, but would have gladly cooked one up for you, your choice of celebrity of course. I would like to cook one up with Angelina Jolie. So for those who didn't spend their comic book money and bid, or those who patiently stood in line to sell copper wires to make money to bid, well, sorry, auction ended a day early! But you can still enjoy the fun below!

This was all done in fun, and if you don't get satire, you just don't fucking get it.

Actual Questions & Answers On the 5267 Original Mile Car!!

Vehicle Description


P. T. Barnum was right! And if you missed out on a 5267 mile AMX recently,
here is YOUR CHANCE to get another! Ultra rare XMA Edition!



NOTE: I am representing this car with my kids who are brokers. They break a lot of stuff so are called brokers, also leaving me broke replacing things they brokered. We both stand behind (but at distance due to stench of rotting crawfish) the description as being as
accurate as possible. Read my feedback and bid with confidence; as I have
been around decades before ebay and years before Al Gore invented the
internet for my rich Nigerian friends.  Please read ALL information
regarding this auction. Hopeful Payment, Worms, No Warranty information is
listed below
the photos. Email with any questions, rude comments, joke of the day or to
hear how Brenda, the toothless stripper, is doing in the trailer park now
that she has hot water and electricy and can bathe.  Please be impatient
while the pictures of this car load; it will be not worth your time, or
effort, but worth a laugh.

This is a real car, real auction, starting at one penny.

THE ULTIMATE SURVIVOR AMX or XMA?

THE LOWEST MILED NON SHOW QUALITY AMX IN EXISTANCE?
THE BEST RUSTOLEUM ORIGINAL PAINT AMX LEFT?
THE NICEST ORIGINAL CHEVY INTERIOR YOU CAN FIND IN AN AMX?


The World's Only True 000-point AMX? Judges regurgitate their tacos at the
sight of it! Showcars immediately move to another portion of showfield!
Vendors pack up and go home, except those selling fish fry or swap meet
sausage or Ford 390V8 parts.

Maybe and maybe not. But I'll bet all of the above MIGHT be true. I will not
say it IS true, because no one really knows what is out there left in the
world, except me, because I see all, hear all, drive all.  Mortals. But I
might be right and I might be wrong. I maybe know and maybe not. Maybe I am
the father of Anna Nicole's kid, and maybe not, but I *DID* however work at
Gigi's here in Houston, but six years before she did, so maybe I left some
residue on a couch. So maybe sun is yellow and sky is blue. And maybe not.
And not sure how many times I can say maybe and maybe not. Maybe.

But I will say this: If you ever dreamed of buying a crappy 1968 AMX nearly 40
years after production ceased-this could be the car. Note, I do NOT say
RESTORED or REFURBISHED AMX.
I say a Crappy or Overly Crappy NON-ORIGINAL
AMX.
Not a car with 150,000 miles on the clock and then it is "resurrected"
and "overrestored" with K-Mart quality reproduction parts, (no I used Home
Depot Rustoleum on Special!) stupid clear-coated paint (from 99 cent store,
works great and can sniff it too) and misplaced screws (you must have a
tetenus shot to walk barefoot around here) and hardware store bolts that the
kids flushed down the toilet. You can never "restore" a 40 year-old muscle
car and really make it NEW again. It is true, a car is only new ONCE. And
this ain't it!

And this AMX I am offering for sale is STILL NEW SMELL as Rustoleum hasn't
dried yet. As new and original and correct and authentic as you could ever
hope for considering it was painted in the 90% humidity during a
thunderstorm. 5,267 actual miles since is was delivered as a new AMX in the
fall of 1968, now going on 40 years ago, only because I rolled back the
odometer. If you want ten 68-70 AMX or Javelin odometers with 5,267 miles on
them let me know, I have stacks of them for sale. Not 5,267 miles since it
was "unrestored". (It is just plain DUMB to 'restore" a car and then set the
odometer back to zero. That does NOT make the car "new again". It is an
ignorant illusion.) An ignorant here as the day is long is my motto! It is
fun to roll back odometers like Lee Iococcoa did with Mopars in the 80s!
Almost like being at a casino watching those little numbers turn! The kids have been learning math this way too! It's even
more ignorant to say a car has 5,267 "original miles" and in same paragraph
tell about all the "work" done to it! Can you spell hypocrite on Jepoardy?
"I want to buy a "H" for $5,267 Vanna!! Look closely...and YOU TOO WILL SEE
THIS CAR HAS 5,267 MILES, and will until I put the odometer back into the
cluster! Make that TWO "H's" Vanna, one for HYPE, one for Hypocrisy!


This 1968 AMX has been swamp-kept and fully covered by rust since new, I
doubt if I has ever been rained on (but won't say that is true as I don't
know for sure; but CAN however tell you it was under 12 feet of water during
tropical storm Allison here in 2001; it didn't affect anything and the
crawfish in truck population swelled) and has never been carefully and
lovingly driven any of those 5,267 miles in the 39 years the car has been in
this world new from the Kenosha Assembly Plant, preferring to have it's own
ecosystem rotting in Channelview, Texas. THIS AMX HAS NEVER BEEN DRIVEN ON A
SALTED WINTER ROAD, because we don't salt roads here, but it was only 30
miles from Gulf!! DO YOU APPRECIATE AND UNDERSTAND THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THIS
FACT? If you do, then pick another vowel and have another bongload while I
try to feed you this line of crap! NO SALT? NO PEPPER EITHER!! What? No
Gravy??

TONS OF BODY RUST. FOREVER IN RAIN? ACID RAIN ETCHING on chrome and trim
AND RUST, since I live in Houston, Texas where 28% of the US production of
the gas is
refined and toxic releases and refinery expolsions are a way of life! If you
realize there are NO HUGE and RARE BENEFITS this offers to the non serious
AMX collector-stop reading-this is not a car for you!  Ruin your marriage by
dragging this home! Watch kids get cut by rusty metal! Homeowners
associations will forclose your home with this baby in driveway! And I have
rich Nigerians who wish to share their wealth with you if you believe any of
this! Also feel free to put in all your passwords, PIN numbers and bank
account statements below! And you are going to think the price a collector
who doesn't know what these facts mean in long term preservation of the
enviroment with this zoo of a vehicle--and is willing to pay to own such a
rare SALTY/ACID LADEN collector car-is 'stupid". You either get it-or you
don't. Well, most don't! And if you have not fallen asleep by now reading
this rambling unibomber, Ted Bundy, Dixie Chick diatribe rambling manifesto
of NASA filled SPACE DAIPERS, read on! PS: You will get a Free lovesick
crazy women astronaut NASA space daiper...USED...with LESS THAN 5,267 MILES
ON IT....IF YOU BUY CAR!


You are looking at 100% TOUCHED original non factory paint. You are looking
at a 100% TOUCHED original interior, probably out of a GTO or Cutless.. The
car had original blackwall Goodyear Custom Wide Tread Polyglas tires on it
installed at the factory and NEVER
TAKEN OFF THE CAR in 37 years for any reason until 3 months ago when I put
on these stunning dryrot tires and bent rims I found at Pick A Part. The car
has never been tuned up from new and still does not need to be, simply
because it has a piece of frozen crap Ford 390/352? in it that a few snakes
call
home. The plugs, wires, distributor cap, points, rotor-were put on at the
Kenosha Assembly Plant and have never been changed. Well, that is back in
1968, duh! FACTORY original clutch assembly I sold, fuel pump, water pump,
radiator, untouched carb and most all belts and hoses all frozen up of
FoMoCo equipment you can't use anyways! Untouched Ford 390, except by
Allison and that was only touched by 12 feet of floodwaters; we resealed the
intake and oil pan on with mud. Windows long sold that didn't roll up and
are oh,
unlike my ex wife, so tight in their tracks. Too bad the ex wife and the
window regulators sold years ago on ebay. ALL Original weatherseals that
still are brittle or missing enough to not seal the sideglass like only a
handful of AMXs do today, except all the glass is gone. The car is smooth,
quiet, TIGHT and devoid of rattles since it sits rotting in my back yard and
is the poster child for 'AMCS CARS IN BARNS/ROTTING RAMBLERS' file on my
site.

You can always tell a "unrestored" car (that shuold have been a Coke can by
now) that had 150,000 or more miles on it because you can never "restore"
the car to being quiet and rattle free ever again. Especially if it don't
move under it's own power since 1983! A car is only new once Sherlock! With
the super low miles and the loving care this AMX has had EVERYTHING IS WORN
OUT. Get it, my friend? I don't and figured this would be THE LAST TIME YOU
GET TO BID ON THIS CAR! EVERYTHING IS WORN OUT like you can get on a
"restored" car that can NEVER EVER BE TOTALLY MADE NEW AGAIN!! "Restoring" a
car DOES NOT MAKE IT NEW!! There are always things onand in a "restored" car
that are worn!!! I don't know what I'm saying as the Ambien just kicked in.
ZZZZZZ.... Ok! I'm back, now the Starbucks Triple Mocha Frappicino kicked
it! But not this car.This car was never driven 150,000 miles and then
"restored". No, it was parked in 1983 and proceeded to rot into hell.  Dig?
Bashed at the dragstrip until the factory body welds break from the strain
of power shifts while drinking a 64 oz Big Gulp. Probably crashed on the
street and then "fixed" by a trusy Team of Nicarguans who are proficient
with ball peen hammers when they are nto busy getting deported. Never driven
in Mid-west salted winters for the first 20 years of its life until rock
salt is in
every crack and crevice of the sheet metal. No....JUST MORTON'S SALT poured
on it, as it seasons the crawfish and nutrias living it it for gumbo later.
Left out in acid rains for those special effect paint jobs.This 1968 AMX is
one rare car-having lived in a garage underwater for
almost 40 years. Loved, but trashed. Not Cared for, not abused,
just.....uh....FORGOTTEN. Not resurrected from a basket case you will not
find out about until after you buy it. That is if you don't run away
screaming like a human seeing Casper The Friendly Ghost for the first time.
Su-prise, su-prise! (Gomer Pyle quote!) Hmmm....eh, can't come up with
anything to counter that quote ya'll...sorry. :~P

THIS XMA IS NOT IN THE SAME LEAGUE
AS ANY "RESTORED" XMA ON THIS PLANET
or for that matter, solar system or
Klingon universe.

Since the front and rear suspension was never painted or painted very well
at the Kenosha Assembly Plant when this car (and all other AMC and Detroit
cars) was made, no one disassembled it entirely, carefully media blast and
(re)finish everything. No, it was too rusty to do and sadi, screw it. Nuts
and bolts NOT replated as needed, no new rubber bushings put in the front
suspension because the originals were dry rotted and still are if they are
even on there, everything carefully ignored& not checked for service, fresh
black epoxy Rustoleum Black paint applied with an dollar store 3 inch wide
paint brush, painiting over mud daubers, kids toys and ladybugs (not spray
cans!) and not reassembled. The Ford 390 engine had little factory paint on
it left as AMC never painted these motors to look show quality when new.
Much less one from another automobile company like FORD! And the engine bay
itself and all related needed freshening, so I got the hose and sprayed it
down with the intake off, it is not like this engine is no stranger to
water. So, the motor and trans were pulled in 1982 and tooth brushed with
kid's Barney dinosaur toothbrush as I hate Barney, (not sand-blasted!) and
the bay itself not wire brushed and freshened and the bay, down by Corpus
Christi, looks like it once was in this engine bay, the engine and related,
trans, driveshaft and all front and rear suspension was not bothered to be
detailed to National CACA Show Standards by Jose and his Team Nicaragua of
Houston, Texas in winter wearing no coats, but they did have fake greencards
in 1982. (Under the direction and guidence of me and a few cases of Corona
and several bottles of El Tiempo (aw, c'mon, these guys like the cheap
rotgut)--Eddie Stakes of Planet Houston AMX) It took 387 man/shop hours to
do this at $2.18 an hour, you do the math. And every possible item we could
retain as 100% original to this car was thrown away such as the shocks-which
are still the shocks that this car had installed by workers at the AMC
Kenosha Assembly Plant when they made this car! No, we sold that on ebay for
MORE TEQUILA! Well, that and a few bribes to pay off Homeland Security guys
who saw 15 drunk workers with hammers at 3:00 in the morning here.
The original pipes were bad and are rusted to the ground, but some like NOS
RUST.  We used NOS AMX mufflers but on another AMX. We completely redid the
brakes (NORS shoes and brake cylinders) and installed new repro redlines on
my showcar, not this one. (Buyer gets the 4 original non matching four
different almost flat and bald tires the car had on it since I bought it.)
They are hard, and weatherchecked (is that a real word?) and are THE actual
tires this car came with when I pulled it from the swamp.) We sold anything
we took off or changed out on the car and that don't go with the car. We
haven tried to preserve the history of this car as much as humanly possible,
but was more than happy to save it from destruction years ago as it was
headed to the crusher but figured it would be more fun putting it on ebay,
rolling back the odometer and claiming it is 5267 miles while telling you it
is original but at the same time telling you all the crap I changed in the
meantime. Confused? Hell, then read on!

To recap:
PAINT/BODY/TRIM

The car is 100% non original Rustoleum paint on the body with all the
bodywork and painting flaws AMC shipped this car out the door with 37 years
ago, and then some like then the guy picked it up with the forklift, but I
am not sure I was supposed to tell you that. Hey! That forklift was
ORIGINAL! One huge meteorite prick-sized stone chip on the right rear
quarter panel is all that has happened to the paint since new. Well, ok,
that and the Go Pack stripes across the windshield. It is not even chipped
behind the rear wheels! Simply because there is no metal behind the rear
wheels left! Has NOT to be considered National CACA Best of Show Standards
as it
is NON FACTORY ORIGINAL PAINT! NOT the grossly over-restored, clear-coated,
owner ego-serving, historically incorrect paint you are used to seeing at
shows today. No, it was painted outside, and any critters walking over it
are forever entombed in the Rustoleum paint! Chrome and stainless are non
existent and missing or pitted. It even has the shallow dings on the door
ledge stainless trim where the AMC Plant workers hammered on the trim on the
early cars incorrectly! Especially if they had a few Schlitz's at Freddies
East or West pubs at lunch! The original grille had the shallow crack on the
lip where the underside screw was always put in too tight! Unfortunately I
ran over that with the lawnmower so now it has about 850 cracks....BUT IT
WAS ORIGINAL!!! The two shallow dings on the right front fender where the
Noah threw Hot Wheels cars  into the fender when Jacob let go of it and it
rebounded. You will find these all over the car...ORIGINAL and put there by
Noah & Jacob!

Elmo went thru the windshield when a Kenosha Assembly Line worker got tired
of hearing him sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY and threw the doll and it rebounded. I
was there in Kenosha (eh, was 8 years old) but the Kenosha Line Workers
ignored all laws and let me inside to help throw Elmo and learn new curse words
I could take back home to Corpus Christi. I was there because....
I WAS ORIGINAL! (sorry, temp brain phart and ran out of stuff to say)

What ORIGINAL history this car has! What a load of crap you must be laying
by now by still reading this! That NASA Space Daiper will COME IN HANDY!
There are only a couple of AMXs left
that I know of today that might compare with his car. And they are in
salvage. And one car with 8,000 actual miles has had offers of $110,000 4
years ago! (Offer not taken simply because the offer was from one of my rich
Nigerian friends.) But the NIGERIAN EMAILS WERE ORIGINAL FROM GENERAL
SANI ABACHA who has been dead for a long time!

Did I tell you Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were in this car? Parrai,
parizatti, parrotheads, parrizitzi, ah, those guys with cameras took a photo
of Britney showing off her stunning AMC LOGOED PANTIES! And they were
ORIGINAL, but had about 5267 miles in them. Oops, sorry, that was Paris
Hilton's lingerie.

INTERIOR
Put simply UNTOUCHED FROM NEW FROM FORD.. (I didn't put an NOS Clock in the
dash, but did not drill the hole for the winder in case the new owner wants
to take it out and put the original block-off plate back in. Yes, that makes
it original I guess, but can't believe you are still reading, but if you
are, thanks, as I am having fun writing.) There is some SLIGHT ozone fade
over the Arctic and deterioration to the carpets whihc those big three taco
sized Norway Rats ate thru, but no way in heck am I going to install
reproduction carpets that are NOT made like the originals from J. P. Stevens
and destroy factory originality in this car! No, i am going to let you put
your foot thru the carpet, rust and onto the ground like Fred Flintstone
having a Brontoburger! All else in this interior is 100% rotted and looks so
old and broken it will blow you away when you sit in the driver's seat and
look around. You can see by the photo here that after eating A ONE POUND
BURRITO that seat sort of looks like Chernobyl,
and it blew out all the
glass, therefore no ORIGINAL glass. This car has the MOTTLED black interior
on the door panels, solid portion of the seat bolsters from FoMoCo and the
rear panels under the rear windows have long since been sold on ebay.
There is NO WAY you can ever get MATCHING MOTTLED SOLID BLACK VINYL today,
so all reproduction vinyl seat material will never look FACTORY ORIGINAL and
the 1968 REPRO tan door panels DON'T EVEN LOOK CLOSE to these originals.
Not that this has Legendary great looking reproduction panels, nor original
seats! It does however have two small pieces of the headliner there and that
should count.  I saw this set of  '68 door panels for the first time last
week on a 1968 AMX junked car here in Houston---and they are so far off in
coloring and texture and woodgraining I was appalled! NOT EVEN CLOSE. This
what you want? If so, then bid, as the door panels in this vehicle go with
rest of vehicle!


This car is a very early 1968 (AMX 00000) and has the three pieces of
ORIGINAL1968  waffle headliner that looks still brand new-untouched but will
crumble to touch, maybe you can glue those three pieces together. There is
SUNFADE to the exterior or interior since this car has NOT been a
garage-kept and covered car since new. This is NOT a "restored" car that has
had interior trim pieces shot with off-color and incorrect non-metallic
paint like AMC did. You could not ask for and get a more ugly, NON ORIGINAL
rat infested interior than on this AMX.

UNDERCARRIAGE
Suspension was carefully butchered and not detailed to National CACA Show
Standards. This is a Factory Undercoated car but that was left, along with
most of the floorpan, in Channelview when I attempted to move this car.
Where there is no original factory undercoating, the body color paint is
glossy and beautiful and covered either with mud daubers (and them bite!) or
spider nests. All we did is spritz on a light freshening coat of RAID or
BLACKFLAG exactly over where the original nests was. The suspension of the
car is not better than new since it was never painted when new. I feel bad
about that for history's sake, but we DID leave the suspension with surface
rust everywhere like AMC did. Not new, but reproduction exhaust but using
genuine AMC NOS mufflers with original chrome tips, but on another car, not
this piece of dung.

This is a front fenderwell shot and is UNTOUCHED and exactly as AMC sprayed
ALL fenderwells when the cars were new to stop "tings" and noise when road
gravel would hit the inside of the fenderwells. Those cars today with no
black undercoating in all four wheelwells are 100% wrong in restoration, but
it keeps them around until Y3K. ALL AMC cars got at least a shot in the
fenderwells and on the gas tank even if they were NOT a complete, factory
undercoated option as this car is. However, none were shot repeatedly with
Raid or Black Flag.


ENGINE BAY
With the suspension off, and the engine out, (remember, I have used the word
ORIGINAL repeatedly in this auction, guess I will have to toss in other
abused words like MINT, RESTORED, BRITNEY,  VINTAGE, we removed everything
in the bay back into the cabin at Brokeback Mountian (I Can't Quit you!!) ,
and HAND AIR WIREBRUSHED the entire guy. Not the same kind Ron Jeremy uses
in those movies on those girls though. Sand or KY media was used in doing
this to avoid sand everywhere in and out of this car. Amazing where sand
sometimes finds itself. My dad used to say if you have crabs, put some
vasoline and sand there and let them stone each other to death. This took 21
hours of labor, almost like the 32 hours that P. Diddy or whoever said they
can hang in bed. The engine was also hand air wirebrushed and the intake and
oil pan resealed with super glue. This also done in our little secret cabin over bottle of
Mad Dog 20-20.  The original
water pump (stop it I know what ya'll thinking) and AMC part numbered belts
remain on this engine! They looked like Rob Halford at the Pride Parade in
all that belts and leather. All hoses but the bypass are ORIGINAL from Auto
Zone. Everything on the engine and in the bay was then carefully and
painstakingly refinished as exact as possible like it was before Auto Zone.
We  used no "reproduction" parts with that well-known CLOSE ENOUGH FOR
YOU BUB quality the "Big 120 AMC hobby vendors are known for. My stickers
were hand made with crayons,
the reproduction stickers went on and promptly fell back off as they can not
generally be told from
originals and are FAR superior in quality to what all other vendors
sell-which is honestly put-trash. Like the magazine AMXTRAsh last century. I
added a Heavy Duty Optional 2-blade
correct flexfan (the other 5 blades fell off) and shroud as cooling
without these is marginal, especially if the car has not ran since early
1980s. --but a buyer can remove these and put the 5-blade
back on if they desire, but will take some super glue. Oil filter is genuine
AMC (since I wrote AMC on there) and the battery is NOT a
reproduction, but ORIGINAL from O'Reillys; but is the last genuine AMC
redtop I had brand new in the box
dry for over 25 years, and will explode like a Iraqi car bomb when filled.
We added acid (while listening to Purple Haze on ORIGINAL QUADROPHONIC
speakers) and it is ready to go get groovy and stare at Peter Max posters.
Brake fluid is
all new as is engine oil, rear dif fluid, power steering fluid and
antifreeze; but in wife's new car, not this one, just figured would mention
it anyhows, hey, it is ORIGINAL.  I used 3 digital photos shot before to
redetail the engine, engine bay and grille area exactly like it was. Taking
a photo of my gas grille with a huge slab of ribs on it makes great photo.
Over 10 photos taken of non originality and unfurbishing go with this car on
discs; or you can save this stupid auction or send it to Jay Leno who will
get a laugh out of it too, he likes cars you know.

TRUNK
Untouched. And when I think about it I touch myself. ORIGINALLY touch
myself. Maybe with a wire brush for 21 hours.
Which is kind of grossing me out now that I have to think about it.
Original Wal Mart-style trunkmat that doubles as a ORIGINAL Dog Bed shows
some aging, but has never been
removed from this trunk. And it is full of critters, some I don't know what
they are but sure look tasty. I will have to google "NUTRIA RECIPES" again
as they had some good rat recipes on there. Leave it alone (I tell myself
while reading Penthouse singlehandedly) as virtually NO AMXs today have a
genuine original trunk mat anymore. Much less one from Wal Mart with it's
own ORIGINAL ecosystem. Looks like the original Space Saver tire and
accessories have never been touched since the wingnut was put on at the
factory 37 years ago. So I decided those would go in one of my OTHER AMXs
and removed them, along with part of the Wal Mart trunk mat and three
crawdads.

The car don't start, don't run and don't drive like new. Mainly because it
was towed here after sitting stuck to ground since 1983. No "unrestored" car
can match this car in "driver-feel".
And I think I am feeling it again,
might have to lock the bathroom door so kids don't see. This car with 5,267
actual miles is tight, unlike exwife, smooth like hot beer at Astrodome, and
quiet-since it is frozen in time and needs to go to crusher; like no other.

This car documents 1968 NEW CAR HISTORY like no other. And many AMC fans
will simply toss their tacos when they see it.

Buy this AMX ONLY if you are interested in preserving AMX history, and using
it as a parts car. Please DO
NOT bid on the car if you want a "driver". Hell, don't bid on it if you only
have Canadian Tire Money. This car needs somebody
who can afford it to buy it to trash it on the streets as a beater or take
it to the dragstrip and hammer its guts out or customize it they way they
think it ought to be. This is what happened to this AMX over 20 years ago
anyhows. Please buy somebody else's "restored" crapbox or build
what you want. Or look thru the AMCS FOR SALE file on my site and find a
realistically priced one that you don't have to eat bottle sof ORIGINAL TUMS
while filtering thru a huge line of crap that will fill a box of NASA space
daipers. This is one of the ugliest, most non original as possible, fake low
miled AMXs in the Universe. Go ahead, go look at this in it's pre-BS form.
Simply google UGLY CARS and in the Top 10 is the Planet Houston AMX "ugly
cars" list. This is the blue one in the FROZEN DRAG RACE, and that is how I
found it. It still had 5267 give or take 100,000 miles on it. Buy it only to
preserve automotive history by using the parts for your real AMX or Javelin.
People will fall over in a faint when you tell them the paint is 100%
non factory original as is the interior. They will faint from the smell
emitting from this auction. And the motor has been blown up,
rebuilt and hogged out .060 over with a Holley carb, except the intake and
Holley were traded to a Ford guy for a 12 pack of Pearl Light years ago.

You have the opportunity to own one of the worst INVESTMENT QUALITY AMXs
there is. If Musclecars and AMXs are going to continue to go up in
value---unless they are in this shape, there is are BETTER INVESTMENT GRADE
Standard Production XMA IN THE
WORLD to buy and hold than this car until the City tows it away or a flock
of homeless people decide this is a great condo.  If you can't see that this
might be the first AMX to break the $10 mark and MORE in the near
future--you are
blind to the car's potential.
If you think that more than $50 for this
car right now is highway robbery--this is not the car for you, I'm sorry to
say. Hell....I'm sorry to say I spent $50 putting this long winded auction
up and could have been doing other things like picking fleas off the dog's
butt, or making nachos. Or putting said fleas on the nachos and telling the
kids
it is fresh ground pepper.
Mmmm...nachos. I have sold people AMXs since my days
of puberty over 30 years
ago. Most thought they were paying "too much" when they bought the car at
the time. They still do. Yet everybody that bought an AMX from me and loved
it and took
care of it---found the car soon worth MORE THAN THEY PAID ME FOR IT, just
like buying cattle! So a pair of chickens, yes, stinky butt chickens,
(sorry, broilers ya'll) sold for $210,000 here at the Houston Rodeo Auction
recently. And so
it might be for this car. Compare it to a stinky ass chicken.  I don't mean
to be rude-but you might not be very
good at investments in the first place. And I probably am rude and that is
why no vendors supported AMCWC and all the chapters left and it went into
the crapper! You probably never thought you would
live to see the day when a completely restored 340 6-pack TA Challenger
would sell easily for $300,000. Not that you give a KFC/Taco Bell rat's ass
about a Mopar! Or a show quality 1969 Z-28 Camaro at a
QUARTER OF A MILLION BUCKS! Yes, almost as much as a cow here at the
auction! Well, wake up and smell the astronaut's daiper-that day is
HERE! And the day might be around the corner when MY Rustoleum  production
AMX brings over $100 in a sale. And if any car has that chance-this
5,000-mile AMX might be the one down the road if the 12/4 panels don't fall
off when you decide to move it down I-10.

This car is not a "loaded" car. Maybe loaded auction, but not loaded car!
Note I have NO "buy it now for $7200" here!! It is AS NOT DELIVERED to the
many owners in the
fall of 1983--Ford 390, boat anchor Borg Warner AT, no power steering, 1 or
2 rusty rally wheels. It was a Go Away
Pack car as it has power brakes ( rebuilt with master
cylinder the kids poured water into to watch the spiders float) and an open
rear end. I could have sworn we just talked abuot the brokeback mountian
again, but this car has a Twin Grip. NO luggage rack looks real good with
this car giving it a European Touring Look To Salvage. My wife's rack Don't
GO WITH THE CAR, but
NOT MOUNTED-your choice. Ya'll stay away from Paige, she will kick your non
AMC hinie!

Non Serious bidders can call me in Houston, Texas or seance the dead
ORIGINAL owner,  and
ask any questions about the car they
want. Or have a laugh like this  auction of the 'hype auction'. We do
not have a window sticker from the original owner in central
Wisconsin but you can PRINT THEM FREE OFF MY SITE, and could not find a
build sheet by gently putting a hand under, eh, not sure I can say that here
on ebay, kiddies might be texting each other by now about this auction.
If you want to put yor hand 'gently under there' go look on ebay's "totally
bizarre" file.
Buyer will pay me and receive no
title. Mileage will be changed again in writing or go ahead and let me know
what
mileage you want and I'll turn the little numbers wheel thing to make it
your birthday so free present at Chuck E. Cheese.. (This car first was
offered for sale by me months ago, bet you thuoght it went to scrapper, see
auction number 330008960552 in Houston in 2006 with just over <insert
spinning odometer here> actual miles.) More digital
pictures can be made available to potential buyers, especially if from Lagos
or Croatia with stolen credit card and wish to send me thousands of dollars
and then send them back 'difference' for 'shipping'.  Car is to be picked up
in Houston, Texas from Eddie Stakes. There is a TEN CENT reserve on this
car, but it is not "outrageous" considering 5000 mile nonoriginal musclecars
do not grow on trees or are naive to believe this congressional speech. You
either see the pride and uniqueness of owning this
car and the potential investment value---or you don't. And hopefully you
don't but if you do, I can lend you my Dollar General +1.25 reading glasses
unless the kids flushed them again.

This car is NOT a KEEPER. If there was ever a 1-point National Show
Quality
AMX-this car has to be it, especially since cars are judged on a 200 point
scale!!, in my opinion as 30 years Senior National CONCOURS
JUDGE FOR CACA AMC Squirrel Clubs(1974 to thank god/finally 2004). Hey,
ya'll enjoy this go google AMCWC and read a obscure file off my site "good
riddance AMCWC" It is as bad
as the worst AMX I have ever had the privilege to not judge in national CACA
competition I only deducted point on the whole car because of a fiberglass
reproduction headliner that fell out while judging, revealing a mud dauber
nest. . This 1968 Rustoleum AMX in this auction is as not nearly as nice as
the Knapp AMX (which was a nice car, this only only needs $150K to be as
nice) and has a original headliner in three pieces that looks like abestos,
ready to inhale. In my opinion-and knowing more than most as to how these
cars looked the day they were built
because I took the time to copy most of the other auction, therefore saving
a whole generation who shuold be watching American Idol and voting for
Sanyee, I was 9 years-old and hanging out at All American Motors in my
hometown of Corpus Christi, Texas where dad worked,  in 1968-I would judge
this Rustoleum AMX at
0 points under original COOCOO AMXTRAsh rules, like there were any to begin
with, it all depended on who slipped me a C-note before judging if you know
what I mean, hint, hint. (AMO rules, which are at least consistent and done
professionally-don't get me going-are far
more focused on originality and authenticity because of club management's
support for AMC hobby vendors who make a lot of excellent quality and
accurate
reproductions. It is why AMO has grown by leaps and bounds, and vendors
continue to put out great reproduction products that were not even
fathomable in the 1980s. And also younger and more experienced judges; which
is how you learn....working your way up the ranks and judging cars, no
matter what your age.  Noah, who is 5 now, is a better judge at AMXs than
anyone who ever attempted to judge (or was coerced or bribed) to judge in
the long since forgotten catbox of AMCWC. 100 points. You get 20 points
automatically if you buy me a Coors. Am I lying
here?)

Buy this AMX to scare, part out, sleep in, and show off genuine AMX history
to those who
have never seen such a monstrosity before. You just may have a $150 AMX in
a few years or a fine from the City equal as much. You can then buy one
Heieken and lap dance.

TERMS OF SALE
AS IS, WHERE IS - WARRANTY WRITTEN IN CRAYON
This vehicle is 39 years old and is being sold as is, where is, with no
warranty, expressed written or implied. If you have taken time to read all
of the above, 
thank you. Tell your friends about it, share the photos, and have a laugh at
Mullet's expense. We have made NO reasonable effort to disclose any known
defects associated with this vehicle in the description and/or pictures. In
other words, it's all a lie, but darn it a fun lie. Buyer will pay owner in
Houston in rupees or Iraqi Dinar, no Canadian Tire Money and receive no
title from him. Car to be picked up in Houston, TX. If you
have any questions please email. If you'd like to speak by telephone please
email for the phone number; if you get hung up on you are either a bill
collector, selling Viagra or Scam-A-Lot Lotto. Or maybe the kids hung up on
you.
NOTE: You have the right to fly in to Bush/Houston International Airport and
inspect this car before the auction ends, although your flight ticket will
exceed what this car worth, and they have $6 beer at airport. At another
expense to you, you won't be picked up at Bush when your flight arrives,
transported to the car and allowed to inspect it firsthand unless you decide
to buy me a slab of Ribs or BBQ at any of my favorite BBQ places here in
Houston. I won't bend over backwards to accomodate
you simply because I don't want you anywhere near my tush or anyone else you
send to examine the car who claims to be a professional from a miserable
failed national club. Or, you may hire a
unprofessional--like a Non Certified Apprasiser or mechanic in the Houston
area--
or even find a friend or a friend of a friend to inspect this car before the
auction ends, if it is a friend of a friend of a friend, give me her
myspace.com info and let me check her out first, hopefully she will have all
here teeth and none of them are green. No seller can tell the condition of
every nut and bolt or
internal cosmetic or mechanical details about any car 25 or more years old
and we all must realize this. It is why I have led you on thinking you will
get a semi restorable AMX with a alleged 52/whatever miles on it, calling it
ORIGINAL on one side of mouth while on other side telling you all the crap I
have changed. I strive to be far more honest and accurate
than many sellers, but there are limits and that must be accepted by all.
Unfortunately I don't know the limits after owning 331 AMXs and Javelins.

TERMS
A $1 deposit in recycable bottles or plastic or aluminum cans is required
within 5 days of end of auction. The remaining
balance is due within 10 days of end of auction and must be paid before
shipment/pick up. Vehicle must be picked up within 30 days from end of
auction unless prior arrangements are made. Payment in U.S. funds only.
Buyer is responsible for all shipping costs. Seller will not arrange for
shipping but will assist until back gives out again. Payment must be made by
certified check or money
order, gold coins, classic comic books, Hot Wheels cars, peanut butter
or Vermont syrup of whihc I have taken a liking to.  All bidders must have no
credit or a good FEMA card issued like they were really a Katrina refugee
but got one anyways, hopefully it still has some funds on it left over for
smokes, beer and other vices like casinos, or must be able to
pay cash for the vehicle like it will really break you to bid on this, don't
want you missing a payment on your double wide trailer with polyester
curtains and a redwood fence now do we? Please secure financing prior to
bidding by selling those old coke bottles and cans.

Remember that your bid constitutes a legally binding contract to purchase
this car. That is legal speak for 'don't bid unless you want a parts car'.
Do not bid if you're not seriously interested or financially able
to purchase this car. Don't use the crack money for this rustbucket in
other words. Unless it is ORIGINAL CRACK. We request anyone who is new to
Ebay and/or who have
no positive feedback email us before bidding. Not that I will answer it and
probably laugh at you anyhows for taking time to read this, but last time it
was listed there were 22+ questions and all got answers! We reserve the
right to
retract questionable bids and block such bidders; so none of those $99
million dollar bids although this car maybe be worth $99 million in Y3K.
Sort of like Arkansas Lottery, you win $3 million dollars but they give you
$1 a year for 3 million years. Milky Way bidders only, and if any questions
about life ask General Zod he will direct you.

NOTE: I will not reveal the reserve price while the auction is running, but
am stupid enough to put it here as I had fun with this...TEN CENTS.

The serious stuff: what you get? salvagable items on this include Twin Grip
3:54 end to end rear end, good for your AMX, Concord, Hornet, Gremlin,
Rambler, American, Rogue, SC/Rambler; also pair of original Torque Links,
Ford 390V8 at least I think it is Ford 390, ain't AMC, Borg Warner M12
trans...both V8 crossmember and trans crossmember, semi good dash, pair of
GM Cutless/GTO seats, two doors, two fenders both good for a racecar,
steering column, 120mph/fuel/temp gauge cluster adjusted for ORIGINAL 
mileage of 5267 miles, a hubcap, some rims, a rear bumper, two ok tailights
with pitted housings, a NASA spaced daiper, a free taco breakfast at Taco
Cabana, brake booster/brace/master cylinder, two door panels, one is
actually good, several rusted to floor seat belts, beehive with red Texas
wasps, gas tank with straps,

BUYER PAYS IN U.S. FUNDS.
THANK YOU FOR LOOKING AND GOOD LUCK BIDDING!


EPILOG:
That being said  God bless everyone who
takes a chance on a AMC...or AMX. They are one of the greatest cars ever
built. No hype there. You will find that many AMC Vendors on the massive
PLANETHOUSTONAMX.COM Vendors list have invested hundreds of thousands of
dollars in reproducing parts: from well known aftermarket places like
Edelbrock, to AMC only like Kennedy, APD, Galvin, Webb, APP, Blasers, to
some that have brought awesome parts into the market for our cars unheard of
and things I personally never thought would be reproduced like complete 70
Ram Air systems, 70 AMX & Javelin dash overlays, alumimum heads, Rally Pack
gauges and overlays, just a tip of the AMC iceberg. There has been a
explosion of great reproduction parts come into the market as technology
continues to evolve; more items have been reproduced in the last 10 years
than the last 25 combined. The quality of the remaining American Motors
vehicles in 2007...is rising, and this is reflected by those dedicated in
not only specializing in AMC, and parts, but those who bring AMC back to
life in a variety of ways....and this is also reflected by the numbers of
AMC vehicles that you will see at AMC Regional...and National events!  There
has been unprecedented exposure for the great cars of American Motors since
the turn ot the century in media; from magazines like Hemmings Muscle; Car
Craft; Hot Rod; Old Cars Weekly; Cars & Parts; ot AMC's being featured in
movies and commercials, including two movies that will come out summer 07.
Ironic that 20 years almost to the date that AMC was taken over my Chrysler,
Chrysler is up for sale. The AMC National clubs...AMO...NAMDRA...and AMCRC
continue to also grow...despite some "goobers" who lost all their vendors,
chapters and members when their national club went belly up due to some of
what one saw in the other auction. Support your national clubs; chapters,
vendors, and even online AMC sites.

Feel free to read this auction over again.

AuCTION PHOTOS BELOW!!!

         

           

         

            
whoopsss....sorry...dog ate the title

At least I didn't try to sell my wife on ebay!

Lubbock, Texas, 5/7/07: A Texas man is being investigated for selling his wife through an online auction.e auction Investigating authorities have so far not discovered that any law has actually been broken. "It could well just become a moot point." said FBI agent Ferral Lukintoo. "At this time it sure doesn't look like there is anything against the law."

Leroy Lowerent of Lubbock, Texas says he was very pleasantly surprised at the good price his wife fetched after the seven-day auction. Mr. Lowerent says the final few hours of the auction resulted in a spirited bidding war which saw the price he received for his wife bidded up to levels he never expected.

"Hell, me'n Becky's marriage was on the skids already." said Lowerent. "An' we done talked things over an' agreed on the auction. We're gonna split thangs 50-50, just like the property settlement."

The successful bidder seems very pleased with his new wife. Barney Nerfnagle of Minneapolis says he never dreamed to be so lucky as to acquire a wife as pleasing and satisfactory as the former Becky Lowerent he purchased following the bidding on the popular online auction site. "I paid for her through Paypal said." Barney. "Course then I had to pay her airfare here, but I'm not complaining."

"Sure, she's got a few hard miles on her." Nerfnagle said. "But I can't be too choosy. Folks say my BO's pretty bad and my rotten teeth aren't real attractive to most women. Becky says she's OK with everything though since her soon-to-be-ex-husband was pretty lowrent, if you'll pardon a bad pun. I'm gonna have to go some to get used to that redneck Texas twang though. I'm sure we'll wind up being very happy in the end."

Becky herself seemed quite happy with the new arrangement saying, "Wal, me'n ol' Leroy done 'bout reached the end of the line ennyhow. It was time to move on. Ah'm gonna take mah part of the proceeds and probably git mahself a brand-new frock an' Easter bonnet. An' that BO ol' Barney has ain't near half as bad as that Lowerent bastard's. Them teeth are gonna be kinda hard to get used to though. But, all in all, Ah figure Ah done purty damned good on this deal!"